One particular stormy morning (with coffee mug in hand) I bravely powered up my Commodore 64. My intended cyber destination was MY SPACE. Suddenly there was this brilliant lightning explosion, my world went blacker than the blackest night. I slowly peeled my trembling hands from my face to reveal I was alone in a void of nothingness, typical of a void, I’d be safe to say. I wandered aimlessly until suddenly an annoying blue bird landed on my shoulder and began tweeting nonsense in 150 characters or less. The blasted bird was most likely agitated by the endless images of cats which just suddenly appeared and disappeared senselessly on walls that weren’t really walls. Certainly I was going bat-ape crazy, only a mad person (maybe Stephen King?) could envision such a scary nightmare. I’m an unwilling prisoner in this whacked-out world of craziness with no immediate sign of escape. My only regret is that if I’d been wearing my shiny tin foil hat on that fateful morning, all of this madness could have been avoided. Save yourselves. Put on your tin foil hats and dance like a madman in the park.
That’s how I was sucked in and became a lost soul in cyberspace. I’m sticking to this story, it’s all true. Honest. Scouts honor!